motivation

Anatomy of Motivation

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Several months ago I reconnected with an old friend.  She offered dinner and good times, but I left her house that evening with the whole world.  In her presence something changed in me.  The gooey state of mind I have been in lately vanished.  There was something about the vibe she gave out.  Her outlook on life was bold and determined.  She was full of ideas for the future and already executing on many.  She wasn’t bragging or trying to be better, this is who she was.  The epitome of self-motivation, I thought to myself, and being in her presence you couldn’t help but start believing in yourself immediately.  She made me think of my dormant ideas and the excuses I had relied on.  I was couldn’t wait to drive home to start getting my ideas out into the world.

 

After that visit I went home and wrote out all my ideas and plans for execution.  This is how you get motivated, I thought.  I just need to spend more time around people like her, because it literally rubs off on you.  What was it exactly that reignited my own motivation?  I was simply hooked!  What do we want after all – how to get motivated or how to stay motivated?  I think it’s both.  Motivation just like any emotion is a temporary state of mind.  We can prolong it, but staying in it 100% is unrealistic and should never be our main goal.  Instead, focusing on creating the most favorable and efficient day is where I would concentrate my energy.  You know you are on top of your game when motivation makes an appearance. 

 Here is my list of all things motivation.  Let’s dive in!

 Mentor/Coach

As seen in my story above, having energetic driven people in your life is an amazing way to boost your own energy.  Choose someone who is focused not only on themselves, but who is genuinely interested in engaging others on their way to success.  How do you know if you are around such people?  They make you feel good about yourself pretty much always.  Do you have someone like that in your circle?  No?  Then it’s time to set an intention to meet such person and venture out beyond your own backyard.

 

Know Your Best

It’s crucial to know when your body performs best.  We will get ourselves closer to feeling the high of motivation when we plan to work on tasks during the best part of day.  Personally, I know that 8am to 11am are my best hours.  I feel easy about getting things going and have a natural inclination to do something productive. What is the best time for you? Time with fewer distraction, less junk food, highest level of energy. Know your best time of day, day of the week and place to be and plan to show up.

 

Physical State

This alone won’t get your business growing or your goals any closer, but feeling good adds a ton to your creativity potential.  Feeling upbeat can do magic things to your life.  The longer we can hold this feeling physically and mentally, the more we get our hands around the feeling of motivation.  Physical activity, solid sleep, nutritious meals (that don’t put you in food coma) are a sure way to feel ready to do something good.

 

Managing Your Mind

It always puzzles me that mind management is not taught in schools.  We have to find our own way to it.  When it comes to motivation, many of us believe in it occurring on its own.  Sort of like the feeling of happiness (not!) it just appears out of no where and we need to act on it fast.   When we observe that motivation doesn’t happen to us as often as we like, we become even less motivated and that is futile to our goals.  One of the most important questions you can ask yourself is this… What do you believe to be true about motivation?  Write it out.  Look at your thoughts and tell me, do you like what you see?  Will these thoughts lead you to feeling more motivated and driven?  Are they the sorts of thoughts that if I read them I would get inspired?  If so, you are in luck and your beliefs will work for you.  If you believe that motivation is scarce or that it only happens to special people or that some people just have more drive… you are setting yourself up to procrastinate.  In summary: Evaluate your thoughts – decide if these thoughts will serve you – introduce new thoughts (beliefs) – practice what you want to believe.

 

Anticipating Lack of Motivation

It wouldn’t be a complete list if we didn’t acknowledge that motivation will come and go.  If you are like me, more of your time will be spent without the high of motivation.  That is okay.  Plan on it, decide what you will do when it happens again. The following mantras are helpful when motivation is no where to be found.

  • It’s normal to feel unmotivated. 

  • No one can be at the peak of their performance 100% of the time. 

  • I will do what I planned to do anyway.

  • I don’t need motivation to stay on track.

  • I trust myself, I trust the process.

 

Just like that you have my motivation tool box! It’s my deepest desire to share my knowledge with the world and hope that it will make a positive change in someone else’s life.

 

Life Lessons Letter from Unconfident Girl

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Dear friend, recently I have been thinking about the lessons I’ve learned so far. I’ve had so many painful, but valuable lessons. I want to share them with you. You might find them both entertaining and useful. If so, my lessons will have served a double purpose. They started out as beliefs of the unconfindent girl and grew into something bigger. Here is what I mean by it. Early in my twenties I was naive, motivated and yet not confident as a young woman. I was obsessed with making the uncertain future certain. I was sure that my main goal in life is to allow happiness to come in and avoid pain at all costs. If I am really good, I will succeed to live happily ever after. Boy, was I wrong about this. Thank you universe, I was wrong about this. Without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, my biggest life lessons:

Life is half negative emotion, half positive emotion. I know, I know… this really sucks to hear, but it's actually great news. It’s the sour moments in life that make us truly appreciate the happy moments. Without the loss we cannot feel the joy of gain. It’s the contrast of events that gives us a full human experience. You and I both tried to make life 100% positive experience. We all do. It’s a recipe for continuous disappointment that leads to losing hope on having it all figured out. Dear friend, next time you feel down, take the lesson and know half of the time we will feel positive emotion and the other half is for negative emotion.

Don’t avoid failure, instead focus on learning how to deal with it. I can say with 100% confidence that I spent all of my twenties building barricades to avoid failure, pain and disappointment. I can also say with 100% confidence that I have since experienced all of the above many times over. What did I do wrong? I focused on preventing instead of embracing that failure is part of life. It’s not even a question whether or not we will experience failure. The question is when it happens what are we going to do? Are we going to spend the rest of what is left dwelling on it? I say not. Dear friend, claim your lesson as soon as you get back up and come with a plan for next time.

Friendships need to be managed. I went from expecting people to read my mind to not needing people to not relying on anyone else. I have since learned that the middle ground is where it feels best. To do that I needed to learn to speak my truth, make asks, come from a place of love and befriend boundaries. These 4 are always with me in my cheat-sheet. If I am upset, chances are I am failing to honor one of them. Dear friend, if you have not managed your relationships yet, start by setting loving boundaries before you find yourself stretched too thin and in a hoard of unhealthy friendships.

Lastly, there is not a single thing or person who can make us feel confident. At first I thought it had to be the relationship. When that happened, confidence didn’t show up. Then I expected motherhood to give me confidence. Confidence was a no show again. Finally, I knew money was the answer. When I make my first 100K, then I would feel it. You guessed it right. Money had nothing to do with it. Dear friend, your confident self is waiting for you to claim it. Think back to your most proud moment and remember how you’ve felt in great detail. Remember what you thought and said, how it felt, where you were and your surroundings… You will feel a wave of emotion overcome you. THAT is how you bring out the confidence.

Love,

Your Now Confident Girl